Here I go philosophizing again or more accurately
still... I have been giving a ton of
thought to love, not just romantic love, just love. I hear a lot of people speak about love in a
negative way; love hurts, love complicates things, it’s not worth the trouble,
love sucks, etc. Not being one to throw out bible quotes often but I honestly
think Corinthians13:4-8 really defines “love” best. Maybe this kind of love only exists between a
parent and their child. I myself am
certain I have never experienced it. I
know I have definitely counted the wrongs in my past relationships as have the
people I have been in the relationship with.
In fact in reading the bible passage again I think I have gone against
most of the entire passage. I think I
have often approached relationships in sort of a stubborn eye for an eye
approach, unintentionally. Of course it
doesn’t start out that way. Maybe there
are many other things that need to be factored in; respect for one another,
maturity, compassion, commonalities, patience, communication, priorities. I suppose they all go hand in hand. Or maybe I just simply haven’t wanted it that
badly. When the going gets tough, I have
got to go. Sure I have hung in there and
tried when it really matters but after so long I usually come to the
realization that what matters is ME, and why would I want struggle and
unhappiness day after day? Some conflict is good, but constant conflict is
not… I do not believe real love; true
love has room for conflict. I am not
such a dreamer that I believe that couples in love never argue, or have
struggles to overcome I am not completely unrealistic. I just simply believe that in real loving
relationship you are a team and together you can get through anything. Key word being together, that’s where the
trust comes in you have to allow yourself to be open to completely trusting in
the fact that your other half is on your team, you are out to achieve the same
goal if you are not then why are you together?
You are not in war or against one another. There is always a compromise to be found
somewhere.
Real love can only come once the manipulation
stops. It is the purest of all emotions,
and has one simple requirement and that is honesty, honesty with each other,
and most of all honesty with yourself. I
cannot say I have always been 100% honest in every relationship I have
had. I know that I haven’t. I have
always held back some part of myself.
Not necessarily bad things, but I have sat back and have been accepting
of things that I do not agree with. Not
always spoken up when I have felt wronged.
Sat back and let the anger and resentment build inside of me until there
is no chance to make things better.
But now after all of this time I can truly
say that today I know what love is. There
is no doubt, there is no question, or what if’s. The first part of this entry was written over
two years ago, when there was a lot of question in my life. But as I finish this today I can honestly say
to myself and to you that I now know real unselfish, unconditional, through
thick and thin, in sickness and in health, til death do us part REAL LOVE. When
you experience it, it is unlike anything you have ever known, you realize that
all the times before when you thought you had all of the answers when you
thought you were in love it was nothing more than a 4 letter word used far too
freely. I don’t claim to have all of the
answers now; I couldn’t tell you how to get it, where to find it, or how to
keep it. But I can tell you that once
you have it you truly will just know!
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not
self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but
rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes,
always perseveres.
